What I've Learned So Far (part 1)

I'll spread these out over time, but here's just a few:

- A man created the term "morning sickness" to fool us into thinking we would only get it in the morning.  It should be called "all the time and probably in public sickness."

- Most women do not have morning sickness 24/7 and into the second trimester.  I did.  So it could happen to you.

- Your gums bleed.  Profusely.

- Your nose is constantly stuffed up.

- You have extra mucus.  Everywhere.  I'll let you think about that one.

- If you throw up at work and lose weight at the beginning of your pregnancy, no one feels bad for you.  They just think you are a crazy girl with an eating disorder.

- Your organs move around inside of you.

- Small meals throughout the day, saltines, ginger, sea bands, and (safe) prescription nausea medicine all sound like great solutions to morning sickness when you read about them in pregnancy books.  Until they do not work.  Then when people hand them out as "secrets" to solving your morning sickness, you stifle the urge to punch them in the face.

- Another time I will tell you about the "semi-permanent hairball" in the back of my throat.  Let's save that for later.

A few things...

First of all, I want to preface this with a few comments:

At the time of this first post, I am halfway through my pregnancy.  20 weeks and counting...

I am so excited to have a baby.  I can't wait for everything it's going to entail -- no matter how difficult.  My husband is going to be an amazing father.  It's a job I'm pretty sure he was meant to do.

I am almost positive it's going to be the absolute hardest job I'll ever have.  This might be a cliche, but from what I can glean -- it's also pretty accurate.  I am looking forward to every moment of it though -- sleepless nights, dirty diapers, teething, failing at being the perfect parent, reading bedtime stories, science fairs, math homework, neurotic worries about their constant safety...I will happily trade in my life of childless coupledom for this incredible opportunity.

All this being said, being pregnant is the WORST.  Don't let anyone fool you.  It is not a miracle.  It is not a beautiful journey.  There is nothing spiritual about it.  It is 24/7 uncomfortable, nauseating, hunger-inducing, bloody, leaky, and disgusting.  And while I didn't think it was going to be easy-breezy-cover-girl fun -- I did expect a glow at the very least.  People conveniently forget to tell you about the worst parts because if they did -- YOU WOULD NOT SIGN UP.  So think of this as a safe-sex public service announcement.

Are you absolutely sure you want to do this thing?  Well then go for it.  I did.  Just don't say you were never warned.

All right, let's bring on the miracle of life...